


Weird Kid Ross

by clarityhiding



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco, Young Veins
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Gen, Not!Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-12
Updated: 2009-11-12
Packaged: 2017-11-25 10:10:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/637776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clarityhiding/pseuds/clarityhiding
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You know how in elementary school there was that kid who was kind of weird and no one wanted anything to do with? In Spencer's class, that kid was Ryan Ross.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Weird Kid Ross

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes I read badfic. And the badfic gives me ideas and then I start babbling about my bunnies to someone. In this case, it was okubyo_kitsune, at least to start with, and it revolved around the initial premise of: What if Ryan and Spencer weren't best friends since forever? And went from there.

What if, when they were little, Ryan was all, "SPENCER IS MY BESTEST FRIEND EVER," only Spencer was like, "Yeah, there's this kid who kind of follows me around and I don't know what his issue is? I guess he likes me because I don't kick him in the shins all the time. Whatever."

Basically, what if Ryan thought of them as very close friends and Spencer thought of Ryan as that weird kid from down the block. Ryan is all smiles, announcing to the world that, "WE ARE BFF, SPENCER!"

Unfortunately, Spencer's response is usually something along the lines of, "What the hell, weirdo, just because I don't beat you up doesn't mean I like you." But Ryan keeps on truckin'. He is determined to smile and be happy (god knows why), and he _will_ be happy, dammit. He's going to have friends—real friends, not just imaginary ones. Spencer is his best place to start, because Spencer doesn't beat him up!

I think this is a young Ryan, though. Like... eight. Or something. Probably stuff goes down (his mom leaving, his dad getting worse, etc.), but no one really knows about it, because Ryan is just this smiley, smiley kid. Who gets picked on/beat up a lot for being a pansy. I guess it would be an AU where instead of turning into grumpy!cynical!emo!boy, Ryan turns into perpetual-optimism!boy.

He gets held back in school, as he isn't doing so well with his classwork due to troubles at home, but no one realizes that, since no one knows about Ryan's troubles at home. Because Ryan doesn't talk about them as he is a smiley Ryan, since no one wants to hear him whine. (I have no idea how to fix this. Spencer is a bit of a jerk, since Ryan keeps following him around and he's this odd, quiet kid who smiles a lot and Spencer's pretty sure he's gay, but whatever. Weirdo.)

Of course, Spencer is a bit of a jock. Not like, a major jock, but maybe in track and field? Cross-country? He isn't popular, but he's not _un_ popular either. Unlike creepy Ross from down the street.

Then, one day in high school, a teacher assigns them to work on a group project together! Ryan is very bubbly and excited and, "Yay, I get to work with my best friend, Spencer!"

Spencer just buries his face in his hands. "Oh god, kill me now," he groans.

And yes, there are times where Spencer says, "Okay, I'll research this thing, you research that thing, we'll get back together on Monday and pool our work," and come Monday, Ryan doesn't have much when they meet up again. He apologizes a lot and disappears into the school library for all of lunch to work on the project.

At the same time, for once Spencer really has to _talk_ to Ryan, and, for the first time, Spencer starts to see just how _smart_ Ryan is. He sees that Ryan is really quite brilliant, that it's not that he's struggling with the concepts, it's just that he's never getting his work done on time. Plus, it probably doesn't help that Ryan's harassed all the time at school. Spencer corners Ryan in the library and reminds him, "You could've worked on this at home. You had the entire weekend to do it." Ross explains how the library is a long walk, he can't get there easily since his bike has a flat tire. "Your mom couldn't drive you?" Spencer asks.

"Something like that," Ryan says, shrugging. Ryan tries hard, but he's always drifting off in class and turning in work that's partially incomplete. Teachers ask if he's having problems at home, if he needs an extension, but Ryan just shakes his head, apologizes, smiles, and says he'll have to schedule his time better next time. He tries to get everything done, but when there are chores, his part-time job, and his dad to look after, schoolwork tends to fall by the wayside. If anything, teachers think Ryan's a bit of a slacker.

Spencer starts to see that Ryan is a hard worker, though, that he's really interested in at least some of the work they do in class, that he _does_ try, but it always seems like something comes up at the last minute, and Ryan can't finish assignments on time.

One day, Ryan is absent. Spencer volunteers to get all of Ryan's work from his teachers and take it over to his house for him. But when Ryan answers the door, he's different from normal, not all smiles and optimism. Instead, he's skittish and jumpy. As Spencer stands at the door, Ryan keeps glancing back over his shoulder nervously, like he's worried about something inside.

The work is handed over and Spencer goes home, but the whole episode leaves him feeling uncomfortable and suspicious. He gets together with his best friends, Brent and Brendon, and they decide investigate the matter of Ryan Ross. Brent's theory is that Ross is secretly an emo kid who's going to crack one of these days, bring a gun to school, and start shooting people. Brendon thinks Ross's house is haunted (or maybe he's having some family problems, but Brendon doesn't really want to bring that up, since it's an awkward topic for him). Spencer... Spencer is just confused. Also, starting to feel guilty. Because here's the Ross kid who's been following him around for _years_ , and Spencer's never really given him much of any thought before now.

Either way, Spencer and his friends end up spending a lot of time at the library, investigating bipolar disorders. Or, well. That's what they _plan_ to do, but instead they just end up at Spencer's house, looking it up on Wikipedia. (What? Wikipedia is totally a valid source for psychoanalyzing the weird kid who lives down the block.)

Brent says the bipolar thing would explain a lot, but Spencer isn't so sure. "I dunno, guys. I mean, doesn't it mostly happen kind of randomly? But he's always been really cheerful when I've seen him. It was just that one time that he wasn't. I think it's more likely he's having troubles with his parents or something."

[At this point I get distracted looking up bipolar disorders on Wikipedia, diagnose cheerful!Ryan as having cyclothymia, and then declare that this is _not_ a not-fic about Ryan being bipolar, it is a not-fic about Ryan being a weird, overly cheerful kid.]

Spencer is still uneasy about this. "I dunno..." he says hesitantly. Thankfully, Brendon feels the same way and agrees with him. (Because Brendon's pretty cheerful at school and with his friends, but sometimes he's really not like that at all at when he's at home, and he has problems getting schoolwork and other things done since he gets distracted by shiny stuff, and he's not projecting his problems onto the weird Ross kid at _all_ , really.)

"Clearly, we need to gather more information. Let us stroll down the street and inquire at his domicile!" Brendon declares.

Brent agrees that this is a premium plan of action, though Spencer is less sure. It's weird, but Spencer's starting to feel a little guilty about sharing this information about Ross with Brent and Brendon, like he's somehow violated Ross's trust. Ross seems to honestly think of Spencer as his best friend, and yeah, Spencer maybe thinks Ross is really weird and strange and he may not consider him a _friend_ so much as an acquaintance, but Spencer has the feeling that he's probably the person who knows Ryan best outside of the Ross family. Which is... really weird, come to think of it, particularly considering how little Spencer actually knows about Ross.

Still, it's really hard to get Brendon to let something go once he sets his mind to it, so it's unsurprising that Spencer finds himself leading them down the street to the Ross residence. "No saying anything weird," Spencer tells the other two before he knocks on the door, because Ross is pretty much harmless, and he's a nice guy, even if he seems a bit simple in the head sometimes. "We're just asking if he wants to hang out." Spencer knocks again, and, after a minute or two, Ross answers.

Ross isn't as anxious and distracted as he was last time Spencer came by, but he's still more subdued than usual, shyly half-hiding behind the door, eyes darting nervously to Brent and Brendon before coming back to focus on Spencer and only Spencer, refusing to budge again. "Um, h-hi? I mean, hi, Spencer, and, um, other people. What's up?" Ross laughs, a nervous sort of giggle that doesn't sound forced, but doesn't sound completely natural either.

"Hey. We were wondering if you wanted to hang out with us? We're really just lying around, not doing anything over at my place, but you're welcome to join us, if you want."

In Ryan's chest, his heart is all pitter-patter, pitter-patter! This is the first time Spencer Smith (coolest kid ever, Ryan's _best friend_ , or at least, the kid Ryan's been working on for the past ten, eleven years, trying to convince him that Ryan is worthy of best friend status) has asked Ryan to _hang out_. And not just with Spencer! But with Spencer's friends too! Ryan's little heart is about to _explode_ with happiness.

"Um, um, sure, only, I, I kind of still have Algebra II homework to finish? I've been busy with—with chores and work and stuff this weekend, so I haven't really gotten to it yet, and. I mean, I really want to hang out, but I'm kind of already behind and DeSailly yells when you don't get stuff done on time and." Ryan gradually deflates as he talks. He is such a failure, Spencer and his friends are not going to want to hang out with some pathetic loser who has problems with easy stuff like algebra.

But Brendon has theories. He's not going to let anything like algebra keep him from testing them out. Instead of leaving, he says, "Oh, man, I know. She's always getting on my case even when I _have_ the work done, seriously, what crawled up her butt and died? Y'know what, you should bring your algebra stuff along, maybe we can help with it. I mean, I'm pretty good at math, and Spencer's not too shabby either, and we're just bumming around Spencer's anyway. It'll be fun, like a group study session! Plus, Spencer's mom makes really, really good cookies."

Ryan hems and haws and kicks a little at the floor with the toe of his shoe, but he's also smiling like crazy – not the huge, ear-to-ear smile that Spencer's used to, but this little, softly glowing one that's kind of awesome-amazing. "Um. Okay. Let me just grab my stuff and leave a note for my dad," Ryan says in a rush, disappearing inside to presumably do just that. The door clicks shut behind him.

"Dude, Ross is kind of more freaky-weird than usual when he's at home," Brent says, wide-eyed. "Also, what the hell, Brendon—I don't wanna do homework. It's Sunday afternoon."

Brendon just bites his lip and shakes his head. "It's not freaky-weird. And... I think it's not just Ross. I mean, I don't think it's a psychiatric thing, or just that, I think it's, um. A family thing." Brendon glances around them, at the house, the yard, eyes lingering places before moving on. For the first time, Spencer really looks about and takes in their surroundings.

There are more weeds than flowers in the flowerbed next to the porch, the lawn is a motley combination of dead, yellow grass and patches of dusty brown dirt. Paint is cracked and peeling off the porch supports and railing, and house itself is a pathetic shade that might've once been mint green, before time, sun, and the elements faded it to its current non-descript grey. At first glance, the house and yard all scream neglect, but when Spencer looks closer, when he examines the places where Brendon's eyes linger, he sees tiny incongruities. Sparkling windows almost painfully clean. In the flowerbed, a lone, carefully tended poinsettia. A freshly-painted mailbox, decorated with delicate climbing vines, reaching branches, and tiny flocks of birds. In Spencer's head, a thought struggles to find its feet and form, but before he has a chance to really realize it, Ross is back again. It doesn't escape Spencer's notice that, like before, Ross is very careful to not allow a glimpse inside the house when he comes out and bends over to lock the door.

Ryan doesn't want anyone to feel sorry for him. He takes care of the things he can, but there's only so much money to go around, even with his part time job and with him hiding money away so his dad can't find it. As a result, certain luxuries like watering the yard or getting the house repainted have had to be cut from the household budget. Plus, it's hard to remember to get everything done, and sure, Ryan's been taking care of things like utility bills since he was twelve, but he sometimes still forgets, and then something gets turned off.

Still, responsibility and Ryan do not get along very well. It is difficult, being a student and a son and a parent and an adult and a breadwinner all at one time. He tries very hard, though, because he doesn't want anyone to think he's a complainer, and he definitely doesn't want anyone trying to take him away from his dad. While it might be hard living with his dad sometimes, the man is still Ryan's dad. Ryan loves him, and if someone took him away, there wouldn't be anyone to look after his dad, to make sure he eats regularly, and (mostly) has the bills paid, and gets the taxes done (nearly) on time.

He has to be happy, so his dad will be happy. When Ryan smiles at him, his dad always, always smiles back, even if it's a sort of sad smile. Seeing how Ryan is always trying to hard to be cheerful and find the good in things is very hard on Ryan's dad occasionally. It makes George feel really horrible and guilty about the bad times. Sometimes, though, it just makes him mad. "Why can't you, just once, get _angry_? I'm a shitty dad, you should be pissed at me, you should hate me!" he yells.

But Ryan's lip wibbles, his eyes get wet, and he says, a little desperately, "You're my _dad_ , and I love you. Getting mad doesn't fix anything, it just makes things worse." He doesn't like it when his dad gets mad, so why would his dad want Ryan to get angry with _him_?

[I lament over the fact that I have no idea how to resolve this story, save everything into a file, and then forget about it for a month. Then I forget the file, drag out the chatlogs, and start c&p-ing it to [unrequited_rain](http://archiveofourown.org/users/unrequited_rain/pseuds/unrequited_rain). And write some new stuff about wee!Ryan.]

I think in weird kid Ross, he is this quiet, shy, happy kid who had the potential to be more, but because he didn't have any friends when his mom left, he started putting on a brave face or something and he never complained about being picked on at school, because he didn't want to draw any attention to himself and risk someone noticing that it was just him and his dad and possibly taking him away.

Because he and his dad are in this together! Ryan's mom left both of them, so they had to have each other's backs! Mostly, Ryan has to have his dad's back, but there are good times too! It was just hard with just the two of them. Lots of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for meals, because Ryan knew how to make those and he wasn't allowed to used the stove without adult supervision. And he wasn't tall enough to read the freezer for frozen foods.

But other kids see Ryan as the already kind of weird kid, and then things get worse after his mom leaves, because his dad isn't always on top of things. So there are clothes that don't quite fit, or that are pretty worn and ragged, and lunches that are in plastic grocery bags and plain and boring. Also, Ryan always tries to check out big-kid books when it's library day. Silly Ryan, doesn't he know those are books for _sixth graders_? Ryan is but a teeny little third grader!

And for some reason Spencer's mom thought it would be a good idea for Spencer and Ryan to walk to school together, and Spencer is like, "But, Mooooom, I don't want to!" She makes him anyway. Spencer is careful to walk quickly so that Ryan is just trailing behind him so that kids at school do not think Spencer is friends with that Weird Ross Kid.

Ryan does not want to bother Spencer, so he walks a little slower. But! Walking to school with Spencer! He is totally going to make Spencer his best friend. And then they will do best friend things, like have a secret club, and a tree house, and a handshake, and play pirates, and tell secrets and! Spencer will come to his birthday party! It will be glorious! (Ryan isn't completely sure what best friends do, but books tell him these are the kinds of things that happen when you have a friend. Books would never lie to him.)

Birthday parties don't really happen in the Ross household anymore. When Ryan's mom was around, she would arrange them and they would send invitations to everyone in the class, and sometimes kids even showed up, though they tended to crowd in one corner, whispering, and quickly disperse if Ryan approached. Or play hide and go seek and no one could ever find Ryan because he was such a good hider (though he sometimes thought it might be that no one tried to find him).

He likes to go to the park and watch kids playing. He used to try and play too, but they ignored him or, if their parents weren't looking, hit him, so he stopped doing that. One time, though. Once time there was this other boy and he saw someone hitting Ryan and he made the kid stop and it was _amazing_. Knight in shining armor! Or, well. A _Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles_ T-shirt, but it's practically the same thing, really. Then he found out that the other boy was named Spencer, and he lived just up the street from Ryan and clearly, they were Meant To Be best friends. Just, no one has told Spencer of this yet. Ryan's working up to it.

He's just that average kid over there in the corner. The only interesting thing about him is that he was retained at some point because his grades were so low. This probably happened the year his mom left, and then he heard his father worrying/talking with an official about Ryan being retained, and the topic about whether GRR Sr. was a fit and capable parent came up and Ryan didn't understand a lot of the big words at the time (he looked them up later), but he understood the gist of it. Namely that if Ryan did poorly, he might get taken away. And Ryan _couldn't_ let that happen. So he shaped up and made sure to always manage passing grades after that. Sometimes _just_ this side of passing, but still passing.

(He couldn't let them take him away from his dad or take his dad away from him, because what would happen if Ryan's dad wasn't there? His mom is already gone, he does not want to live with strange people he doesn't know! Also. If he had to go somewhere else, he might have to go to a different school, and that _can't_ happen. He has to stay at this one and make Spencer his best friend! It is Meant To Be!)

He never tells anyone about his plans to make Spencer his best friend, though he writes an essay about it in sixth grade, and the teacher is very impressed and Ryan nearly wins a district-wide writing contest with it, but he can't go to the award ceremony because his dad has to work and you _have_ to attend the event to win, so instead the award goes to the runner-up. (Ryan doesn't mention it to his dad. He knows his dad has to work that day and that he can't take Ryan, so why bother bringing it up?)

Ryan is a better student in elementary and middle school, once he figures out that being a good student means getting to stay with his dad. But then in high school he's finally old enough to get a job, and his schoolwork starts to suffer even more because of that. And his dad is getting worse, which means hospital bills, which means less money around the house, which means having a part time job is even _more_ important. But senior year is a good year because Ryan is eighteen and no one can take him away now, he is a legal adult.

But his dad is mean and glares and says, "No quitting school to work full time. You have to get your diploma, _or else_." GRR Sr. tries! He loves his boy. He knows he is a shitty dad, but he does try.

They are kind of faily about each other. Much less fighting and grumpiness and bad blood in this, but I think that is because, well. _Smiley Ryan._ Smiling!

Spencer can't remember how he managed to ignore Ryan's smile all these years. It's just... it's there. And it's really nice. And it's starting to drive him nuts, because he knows all he has to do is look at Ryan and Ryan will shyly smile wider, and Spencer's stomach twists and erk.

Ryan doesn't even think of it, as in... He just knows that it is Spencer, who has saved him from bullies on multiple occasions. And Ryan gets that Spencer doesn't want to be friends with the weird kid, he understands that, he's not _stupid_. He just. Likes that Spencer's so nice that he will even defend the weird kid. Ryan daydreams about doing amazing things to win Spencer's attention and interest and maybe even friendship. He knows it's not going to happen, and that the school year will end and they'll graduate and never see each other again, but he's allowed to dream, isn't he?

Then Spencer asks if Ryan wants to hang out! It is totally the best day of Ryan's life. There are all kinds of chores he should be doing, but he does not care! Hanging out with Spencer! His dad is always saying he should get out and visit his friends more, so it's okay, right? Right. (GRR Sr. maybe does not realize that, despite Ryan talking nonstop about Spencer Smith, Ryan is not _actually_ friends with him. GRR Sr. knows Ryan is awkward and stuff, but does not quite realize the problems Ryan has making friends.)

**Author's Note:**

> And then I forgot about all of this for three months and then found it again, did a little editing, and posted it! I never did decide whether it should stay gen or end up being Ryan/Spencer (or maybe Brendon/Ryan).


End file.
